i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
