Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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