it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
