Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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