I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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