chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
