i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
home. puking in laundry basket.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
