This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As shirtless as possible
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
