Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
