And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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