we're blogging at a bar
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
