i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
