do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
