Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize