NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
