i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
