When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
