If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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