ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
