I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm at about main and main street
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
