He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
