just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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