you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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