I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
