I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
