I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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