dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
