I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
