So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
