Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
