I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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