If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
