right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
