remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
