You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
