Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
