Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
