He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
