It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
