i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
