Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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