Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
