Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
