So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
