how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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