She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
