Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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