he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
