He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
one might say we're banned from that church
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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