did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
