I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
