I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
